Welcome to Week One of the Change Reflection Series!
❤️ A space where your heart can connect with your mind. ❤️
Why Change? Why Reflection?
- Change is an inevitable part of life. We all go through it.
- Without Change, there is no Growth. We remain Stuck.
- For Change to happen, something has to End.
While there’s a good chance we intellectually agree with these statements, most of us aren’t particularly fond of, or good at endings.
I believe that we need to engage both our Minds and our Hearts to get better at endings and reach the goodness waiting for us on the other side of change.
- For our Minds, the content of this series is inspired by Dr. Henry Cloud’s book Necessary Endings.
- For our Hearts, you’ll receive daily reflection questions, which you can also find sprinkled in below.
Let’s begin this week with Chapter 1:
Endings: The Good Cannot Begin Until the Bad Ends
Why Endings Matter
How we feel about Change impacts how we handle Endings.
And how we handle Endings determines our personal and professional growth and ability to seize new opportunities.
When we learn to embrace Endings and do them well:
- We thrive.
- We live to our full potential.
When we avoid them:
- We stay stuck.
- We remain in pain.
- We miss out on what life has to offer.
But here’s the truth: For the Good to Begin, the Bad has to End first.
Our lives have seasons, just like we read in the famous passage from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8: There’s a season for everything
Take a moment to reflect:
How do you feel about the idea that endings are necessary?
Creating Space For Growth
Not all endings involve something bad. Sometimes, we need to let go of what’s merely “okay” to make room for something better—something that allows real growth to happen.
We’ll explore this idea more deeply next week when we talk about pruning and rosebushes. I can’t wait to share that with you!
For now, take a moment to reflect:
What relationships, habits, or mindsets in your life are holding you back?
What do you need to let go of to create space for new opportunities?
Navigating Endings When Things Go Wrong
In other cases, endings become necessary when something has gone wrong—a toxic relationship, a job that’s no longer a fit, or a setback that leaves you feeling stuck.
No matter the reason, until we engage both our hearts and minds to embrace endings, we’re likely to avoid them—even when we know deep down that they’re necessary.
Why Do We Struggle With Endings?
Dr. Cloud highlights several reasons we avoid endings:
- “We do not know if an ending is actually necessary, or if “it” or “s/he” is fixable.
- We are afraid of the unknown.
- We fear confrontation.
- We are afraid of hurting someone.
- We are afraid of letting go and the sadness associated with an ending.
- We do not possess the skills to execute the ending.
- We do not even know the right words to use.
- We have had too many and too painful endings in our personal history, so we avoid another one.
- When they are forced upon us, we do not know how to process them, and we sink or flounder.
- We do not learn from them, so we repeat the same mistakes over and over.”
Take a moment to reflect:
What reasons have stopped you from making an important ending in the past?
What’s holding you back from making one now?
The Path Forward
And now we’ve come full circle: the key to moving forward is learning to help our hearts and minds embrace endings—not as something to fear or avoid, but as a natural, even empowering, part of life.
This week is your first step on that journey. Matters of the heart take time, so give yourself the space to reflect.
What makes endings challenging for you?
What endings are you avoiding?
I hope you’ll join me again next week as we continue this reflection and bringing our hearts along for the ride.
If at any point on your journey you want some personalized one-on-one support, reach out for your free coaching consultation, and we’ll take the next step together.
Looking Ahead
Next week, we’ll dive into Chapter 2 of Necessary Endings:
Pruning: Growth Depends on Getting Rid of the Unwanted or the Superflous
Additional Resources
For more insights on emotions and how the heart and mind interact, check out these Huberman Lab episodes:
With gratitude,
Renate ❤️
Written in Skopje 🇲🇰